Oh, hell! - here comes 2007

Dearly beloved,

I have arrived in 2007 carrying in my wake a Pied Piper cohort of the gremlins of 2006 determined to add interest to my life in this new year. You should know that an ancient Chinese curse, retained for use against their worst enemies, was "may you live in interesting times" to grasp the implications of the interest they intend to add.

I have started off, on January 1st, by accidentally overdosing myself with an anti-biotic and it has taken me two hours of feverish ( pun intended) searching using telephone books to locate a pharmacist who could advise on any necessary course of action.

At this point you are, reasonably, asking how does one accidentally overdose on anti-biotics. Take it from me - its easy with the help of gremlins.

On the, probably false, assumption that you care and have the time, settle back and learn.

On the evening of Saturday 23rd, December 2006 ( you have to plan for stupidity well in advance) I developed the headache. achiness, raised temperature, etc., which either heralded that I was falling in love or a viral infection was underway. Given that my wife has put her foot down about the first whilst I'm married to her, it had to be the second - and on the Sunday I was ill, very ill, worse even than 'man-flu'.

Thinking these things must run their course I remained in bed, and to cut a long story a little shorter, there I remained through Xmas Eve, Xmas Day, Boxing Day and beyond whilst all around me people revelled - why do we only 'revel' at Xmas and New Year's Eve whilst for the rest of the year we 'party'?

By now the secondary bacterial infections had settled in and anti-biotics were called into the fray and now also were the gremlins. By a plot born of genius they lured me into the bathroom to rinse my mouth and to clean my teeth - now comes the embarrassing truth - for which process I removed my false lower plate and you never knew it was false, did you? You did! - ah well. This fell from my enfeebled grasp onto the carpeted part of the floor and broke clean in two. Bear in mind this is late on Saturday afternoon on December 29th. when the whole world has broken off early to gird their loins for New Year's Eve including Dental Technicians - not a breed of men you would expect to 'revel' but there we are, perhaps a book could be written on the hidden revels of a Dental Technician and not one of us knew.

The only one who would answer his phone was, at that point exactly, on his way to Sheffield having broken a tooth and was going a see friendly dentist to get it fixed - you could not have made it up! However, recognising another in distress, he agreed to meet me at his lab on the Sunday and fix the plate.

On the Sunday, still feeling extremely bad, I got up and, faced with a longish drive, decided to take Paracetamol to anaesthetise me for the trip. The Paracetamol strip was next to the anti-biotic strip, they don't look dissimilar, I was groggy - it was all too easy.

Two things:

1. The first person to wish me a Happy New Year when I venture out tomorrow will be in jeopardy of his or - because I'm not sexist - her life.

2. A triple dose, 300mg, of Doxycycline Hydrochloride will, apparently, ensure that I will not get leptospirosis over the next 24 hours - you see, you learn something new every day.


Happy New Year

Brian